THE WINTER OF TEARS
by anarchy-munkey
Summary: Tacal was once Quatre's body guard. She once again finds him but both of them have changed. How dose Duo know her?
1. Default Chapter Title

THE WINTER OF TEARS  
CHAPTER 1  
  
As I looked into his eyes he seemed like the boy I fell in love with, but in some way, he was  
different. I couldn't tell until he embraced me in his arms, and that's when I knew that he had changed.   
  
"I have to leave soon." he spoke so softly I almost couldn't hear him.   
  
"Let me come along with you. I can help you and besides, do you think that after waiting this  
long to see you that I'll let you leave just like that? I can fly one of them or repair them if they're damaged.  
You know that I can fight and I want to help you. Quatre, I can't just let you go. I was raised and trained  
to protect you and your family and that's what I intend to do." I said convinced that this was what I must  
do.  
  
God I wanted to cry as he left with a brief kiss upon my cheek saying, "I don't want you to get  
hurt.", why do men always say that? Well, the only good thing is that I got the tracer on him. "I'm sorry  
that it has come to this but. I can't let anything happen to you." I whispered into the dark.  
  
As I walked in the dark trying to find him in the distance I could see the light of a distant fire.   
That's where he was and that's where I had to go. I slowly walked up to it but as I reached the fire no one  
was there. Then three boys jumped down from the trees, but only one that I recognized. They were about  
to attack me when Quatre came out to speak with me.   
  
"What are you doing here? I thought that I asked you to stay there?" I looked at him as he keep  
asking question after question.   
  
"I can take care of myself. I'll be fine, and yes you did ask me to stay out of it, but I can't. And I  
won't. I was told to protect you and that's what I'll do, no matter what you say." I looked at the other  
boys, the one I knew was Duo Maxwell but the others were still a mystery to me.  
  
As I started to walk away one of the boys told me, "It's dangerous out at night you can stay hear  
but in the morning you have to leave."   
  
He was a young Chinese boy with long jet black hair. "No thank you I'll be fine on my own and I  
won't leave in the morning either."   
  
I knew that he wanted to hit me but I could see that he was a man of honor. As I walked away I  
could feel their eyes on me. How I wanted to look back at them but I could only keep going not only for  
my own good but for his too. I made a bed out of some leaves and went to sleep.  
  
In the morning, I was the first one up, so I made them all breakfast and woke them when I was  
finished cooking.   
  
"Good morning" I said as a boy with brown hair grabbed a plate, but he just looked at me  
strangely.   
  
"I know you don't trust me but you can't get rid of me now. I'm here to protect Quatre and that's  
what I'll do till the day I die."   
  
The Chinese boy then told me "It seems that you wish to die."  
  
I looked at him because it was true, I did want to die for Quatre. Maybe it was because I wanted  
him to see how much he meant to me. "No, death is just part of my job and I'll do my job to the best of my  
ability even if it means my death."   
  
Duo walked up to me and whispered in my ear. "I know how you feel about Quatre and I know  
how he feels about you." I turned around as fast as I could. "Can we talk alone?" he looked in to the  
woods and started to walk away and I followed. Quatre stood there as we walked away.  
  
"How could you tell? I mean yes I do love him but I'm not allowed to." I kicked a stone on the  
ground towards him. "I don't know how I could tell babe. But I can also see he cares for you and maybe  
someone else does too." I looked at him as Quatre walked up to us and Duo walked away.   
  
"Hello, Master Quatre. How are you?" I looked at him and smiled.   
  
"I'm good and please don't call me Master. What were you two talking about?" he asked.  
  
"Well you are the new Master of the Winner family and we were talking about the past. We also  
had a little talk about someone that we both knew."   
  
"Please don't come with us." he said gravely.  
  
I gave him a serious look "Listen no matter what I have to do, it was your late fathers last wish  
before he left. You're the only one that can carry on the Winner name. So I must protect you with my life.  
Plus there's more to the story than you need to know and more than you think." I said looking away from  
him. "And I know you don't want me to get hurt but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you died. I  
lost everything but you. While you were gone both my parents died and I was wounded. You're all I have  
left in my life, you're my only friend." then I whispered "and perhaps even more." I walked back to where  
the others are.  
  
Duo looked at me "Can I at least know the rest of your names?" I asked.  
  
The Latin boy spoke first "I have no name but if you must call me something call me Trowa  
Barton."   
  
"And I'm Heero Yuy." The silent Japanese boy spoke in a firm voice.   
  
I walked up to the Chinese boy his jet black hair still pulled back in a small ponytail. "And you  
are?"   
  
"WuFei" was his answer.  
  
"I am Tacal Saysa." I looked at Duo again and smiled. Then we could hear mobile suits coming  
towards us. "Master you and your friends stay here, I'll go see what it is."   
  
As I started to walk away Duo said "I'll come with you."   
  
Looking at Duo I said "No, I'll be fine thank you." but he still came with me.  
  
I walked in silence as Duo talked. Finally, I laid my finger on his lips as we stopped "You know  
we'll get captured if you don't hush up. Besides, there's something I need to ask you."   
"Shoot."   
  
"Do you find me attractive?"   
  
"Ya why?" I walked up and kissed him but as we kissed I knocked him out.   
  
"I'm sorry but I don't want you to get hurt." I pulled out a radio and called Heero down "Heero  
we need some help Duo is knocked out. Home in on our signal." Quatre then got on his radio "You wait  
here for us, okay Tacal?"   
  
"Yes sir." I said, but as soon as I got off the radio with them I left.  
  
I began to run to were the Oz mobile suits were. When I reached them I got into a Leo and  
started to fight. They fought back and I put up a damn good fight but still I was the one to fall. When they  
came and got me out of the suit, a woman was their leader, I didn't recognize her "You're new or else  
your weak because I'v never see you before." she looked to be German "I'm Lady Une and you must be  
Tacal, Mr.Treize has told me about you."   
  
"Should I feel honored?" I asked impudently.   
  
She slapped me immediately. "You know Treize would not approve you hitting me." I said  
licking blood from the corner of my mouth. As she slapped me again I took the guards holding me and  
bashed their heads together, making sure to slap her back before getting into a Leo and distroying the rest  
of the suits that were theirs. By the time my companions came no one was there but me.   
  
"I asked you not to leave." Quatre said, for the first time he raised his voice towards me.   
  
"I wanted to protect you. Quatre there's more to my life and thoughts than you know, than you  
think, or understand. My life has no meaning but to protect you. Even if against my ex-lover and your  
wishes. Quatre I knew you better than anyone and I......I loved you more and still do." I walked away but  
he ran up to me.   
  
"You what?" he stuttered in disbelief.  
  
"I love you." I said in a quiet but firm voice.  
  
"Why didn't you ever say anything?" he asked imploring my to explain.  
  
"I wasn 't allowed to. Your father and my father said that it could never be, I'm a warrior and your a  
peacemaker, and besides that, I'm not good enough for you." I said looking deep into his eyes. He began  
to speak but I laid a finger a upon his lips. "Shhhhh... don't say a thing it was both our families said that  
it shouldn't be." I gently laid my lips upon his. Slowly ending the kiss I mournfully told him "Friends  
forever that's all we can be." He sat on the ground as I walked back to the others. "I'll make lunch..."  
  
We all ate in silence but I didn't eat, because I couldn't. Duo looked at me "Can we talk?.....  
Alone please." we walked into the woods "I'm sorry. It's just" then he kissed me it was long and sweet  
after the kiss I could not speak he pulled me closer to his body. I could hear his heart beating I looked at  
him "You're not mad about me knocking you out?" he shook his head. "Solo sometime I wonder what he  
would say about us." he just smiled "We should get back Quatre will get worried about you." he whispered  
"Just a little longer." then I continued "We can't keep this up. I either have to tell Master Quatre or we  
must end it but .........I don't want to do either." he looked at me and frowned I knew what he wanted to  
say. "You know I also love Quatre. I can't lie to you or him." I could see WuFei up in a tree. I walked  
away from Duo and went to the camp.  
  
I walked up to Quatre "You must not fight anymore. Not in this war but none other as well."   
  
"I must." he said with conviction.  
  
I looked at him a tear ran down my cheek. "Then he has already won. I must leave now for  
Milliardo is waiting for my report." as I went to walk away Quatre hit me and I looked at him as another  
tear fell before I left.  
  
I walked in to see only Noin. "Is Master Milliardo here?" she shook her head   
  
"What happened?" she asked looking at my face.  
  
"He hit me. He still doesn't relize that we're not the enemy." "Does he know how you feel about  
him?"   
  
I shook my head as Milliardo walked in. "Sir I have returned with the report on the Gundam  
pilots, and whether or not they see us as allies." I could tell how much Noin loved him. "Come on." we  
walked into his office "They still see us as the enemy, but I think that I could convince them that we're not  
if I had a little more time."   
  
"Your face what happened?" he asked.  
  
I put my hand on my cheek "Oh this? I got punched, nothing major."   
  
"You know Treize would be upset if you were to get hurt."   
  
"Well his Lady Une has a good back hand and Quatre can hit me if he wants to. I must go, my  
brother is waiting for me." I walked out of the room and Noin was still waiting out in front of it.  
  
"Brother, who is Lady Une?" we were having our normal cup of tea. He wasn't my real brother  
but still I loved him like one.   
  
"She is my assistant. Why do you ask?" said Treize inquisitively raising a single eyebrow.  
  
"She slapped me." I calmly stated, sipping my tea.   
  
"You're the one that attacked us?" he asked setting his tea down.   
  
"Yes. I was on a mission and they were in my way. Was anyone hurt?"  
  
"Not badly." he replied.  
  
"Is anyone in the hospital?"  
  
"Yes the two men whose heads you bashed together had to be hospitalized for head trauma."   
  
I set my tea down "Who are they and where are they?" "Private Jackson in room 203 and  
Lieutenant Locklin in 360." I got up and left to see them.  
  
I walked in to Jackson's room first "You're the one that did this to me! Why are you hear?" he  
asked outraged, just as his wife got up and slapped me. Some of my men grabbed her and went to take her  
to jail   
  
"Leave her be. And I'm here to apologize. Please forgive me I was on a mission and you and your  
team were in my way. I am Lady Tacal I wish not to fight with you but if it would help" I took out a knife  
and placed it in his hands "you may wound me in return."   
  
"You're prepared to die to make amends?" he asked slightly stunned.  
  
"I am ready to die for what I believe in." I said chin held high. Abruptly the knife dropped from  
his limp fingers. "Good bye and good day sir." I walked out.  
  
As I walked in to Locklin's room no one was there but him. "Hello." he looked at me "I am Lady  
Tacal and I wish to say that I'm sorry for what I did to you." he sat up and patted the bed. I walked over  
and sat down. "I know you were on a mission, so there is no need for an apology. Not from you at least." I  
smiled as he ran his hand down the side of my face. "Your face is so soft and you eyes are beautiful." he  
smiled as he drifted back into sleep. I kissed his forehead and left.   
  
I walked back to were I had left Treize. When I walked in, I could see Lady Une talking. "Ah  
Lady Une." I said as I sat back down.   
  
"It's you!?!" she went to slap me when Treize stopped her.   
  
"Don't you ever raise your hand to her ever again!" He had never before raised his voice to her.   
  
She stopped and looked at him and then left. "It's all right brother I must leave anyways. I need  
to go and finish a mission." I walked over to the door and looked back "Oh and Miss Une stay out of my  
way. I woudn't want to have to hurt you pirtty lil' face that your men love so." I walked away and into the  
hangar.   
  
"Is it finished yet?" I stood there looking up at a tall emerald green Gundam. "Not yet ma'am."  
Burkas told me. "How long till it is?" I was stunned it was just so beautiful! "Ummm... probably by tonight  
or tomorrow morning." he said smiling before going right back to work. I left for Milliardo's office in the  
Sanc Kingdom.  
  
"Damn it." I was running from some OZ solders. I ran away from the Sanc Kingdom. "I can't  
keep this up much longer." I told my self as I ran through the woods I had been running for quite a while  
now. I finally stopped. "All right I thought that you'd leave me alone. Now that I see you won't." I attacked  
two guards before I was shot in my leg. "Damn!" I forced myself to stand. "Don't you dare pull that  
trigger. You want to be the one that killed Tacal Saysa?" I said hoping this would make them less eager to  
shoot. I held myself with the tree I wasn't about to let them win. I slowly pulled out a gun and shot the two  
men that were still there. I ripped some of my shirt and tied it around my leg and started running as fast  
as I could. I finally made it to a secret entrance and went in.  
  
My ankle gave out and I had to crawl to where Noin was. She quickly ran over and helped me to  
my seat. "What happened?" she called a doctor before I answered her. "Ready the troops Oz is right out  
side the gate. My Gundam is being moved so that it can be finished." I stood back up. "I'm going to take a  
Leo out. I'll lead them away and you and your team can protect the Kingdom." I began to walk away. "I'll  
call Quatre and them. You stay hear Lady Tacal." Noin was right we did need help. "Okay you can call  
them but I'm not staying put." I walked to the hanger with Lt.Noin. "I'll contact them." "Hello Quatre,  
Duo, Trowa, Heero, and WuFei. I Lady Tacal ask for your help at the Sanq Kingdom. We are low on  
forces and we desperately need your help. Our forces are weakling now I must join the battle. I pray that  
you'll come to our aid." I ended the transmission and entered a Leo.  
  
"Lt. Noin please take care, and Master Milliardo you be careful they're after you and Lady  
Relena." I took my Leo out into battle. 'Quatre please help the Sanq Kingdom and please take care.' my  
thoughts were on Quatre and his friends even though I was now in the center of the battle fild. I had taken  
out a few mobile suits but was attacked from behind. My suit fell to the ground, however once I got it to  
stand again a bullet passed through the armor and through my chest. Once the gundams reached the battle  
field it wasn't long till the battle was over. They all returned to the hangar I tried to slowly get out of my  
mobile suit but I fell to the catwalk that was below me. I couldn't see anything but I could hear Quatre  
calling my name and Milliardo calling a doctor. I tried to talk but nothing came out. Unconsciousness  
stole over me and I knew no more.  
  
I yawned and opened my eyes and looked around. Quatre and Duo were both sleeping in chairs. I  
looked at them and smiled. I ran my fingers over the bandage that was around my chest. I didn't know  
how long I had been here. I tried to stand but the IVs in my arms kept me for standing. I pulled the IVs  
out and took off my heart monitor things. I sat there looking out the window when two doctors ran in.   
  
"Shhh you'll wake Master Quatre and Master Duo." My eyes didn't move from the window.   
  
"We need to put your IVs back in and you heart monitor." the older doctor explained.   
  
"I don't need any medication to help the pain and the heart monitor won't do much good, since  
my heart is fine." I stared at the mobile suits outside the window. "Will you please tell Master Milliardo,  
Lt. Noin, and the rest of the Gundam pilots that I would like to see them when Master Quatre and Master  
Duo wake."   
  
"Yes Ma'am" they both left as Duo woke up. "Did you sleep well?" I finally took my gaze away  
from the window and placed it on him.   
  
"You're awake!" he exclaimed as he woke Quatre up. I smiles as Quatre slowly opened his eyes.   
  
"You should have let him sleep." I said reprovingly. Quatre was surprised to see me sitting there.  
"You're up!" he came and hugged me I slowly wrapped my arms around him. "What, did you think that  
I'd leave you?" I teased. "Remember I told you that I'd always be there for you." he let go as the others  
came in. "I'm sorry." I hid my face from Milliardo and Relena. "They followed me that's why we were  
attacked." I had promised to protect them but I failed. "No, don't say that you were the only one that was  
seriously injured. You saved us all by calling the Gundams to our aid." "But Miss Relena." she sat down  
by me. "Your Gundam is here." she looked out the window. Heero put his hand on her shoulder. "Miss  
Relena I would like to take my Gundam out." I looked out the window. "You'll kill yourself. No one can  
drive it." WuFei protested. "Master Milliardo please." he nodded.  
  
I went to my room to change I slowly unraveled the banages from my chest and looked at the  
wound. I slowly ran my finger tips over it. It would scar I slowly put new bandages on it. After I changed I  
made my way to the hangar. "Is that it?" I asked as I walked up too WuFei.   
  
"Ya, but I still think you shouldn't go." he said with apprehension.  
  
"Listen to me Mister. I was trained from birth to protect and kill. I was born to fight and protect.  
I wasn't born to sit down and heal while there's a war going on. I wasn't born to let the man I have to  
protect and love go and fight for me and most of all I'm not going to let you have all the fun." I shot him a  
devilish smile.   
  
I stared at the emerald, crimson, and black Gundam. Duo and the others came in. "Well lets get  
this show on the road." I winked at Quatre and climbed in the gundam. "Okay systems go. Okay Burkas  
open the hatch." He followed my orders and I took the Gundam out and tested it. This Gundam was fast  
and strong. It carried guns and a sword much like Heero's. After a while I brought it back to the hangar.  
  
I slowly walked out of the hanger. "See it was nothing. I told you that I'd be..." I passed out from  
not laying down like the doctors said that I should. My dream was the same almost every night. I would  
dream about either Quatre, Duo, or Solo. I loved all of them but only two remained for me now. That  
night my dreams were of Quatre. In my dreams we did so much and I never wanted to return to reality.  
The way he was in my dreams was nothing like in reality, more of a Duo than Quatre. The way he'd kiss  
me or touch me in my dreams. Why even dream when that's all they were, DREAMS. I sat up not wanting  
to fool myself anymore.  
  
Quatre was awake and sitting in my room. "You all right?" He asked as he walked over to my  
bed. I nodded and laid back on the bed when he sat down on the side of the bed. I sat up so I could be  
closer to him. "I'm sorry for hitting you the way I did." his eyes were still the same blue-green as always.  
My hand found it's way into his. He placed his outer hand on my face.   
  
"There's no need to be sorry." my voice was soft, I was choking up. His face drew closer to mine  
until his lips slowly pressed against mine. I kissed back passionately as he pulled me closer and more  
deeply into the kiss. My arms found their way under his shirt and around his back. We finally broke the  
kiss desperately needing air. "I don't care what my father said I love you. I can't hide it." before I could say  
anything more he kissed me again. We would have been laying on the bed soon if it wasn't for a damn  
alarm. "All pilots please report to your gears. This is a code red." We broke the kiss and headed towards  
the hangar.  
  
I looked around and could see almost everyone was ready for battle. "OZ has attacked us full  
force." Good old Treize has perfect timing. "All right get your pansy asses in gear and get the hell out of  
here! If they're attacking full force I don't want no men out on that battle field till I'm dead! Get the  
civvies to safety!" I barked orders and Noin looked at me. "You take the heirs to the throne and get the  
hell out. Don't fight with me Noin I'll handle this here." She nodded and ran off. "Thank you gundams but  
you shouldn't be here. This battle is not one that any warrior would want to die in. I'll handle them you  
take care of each other." I looked at them. "No we're a team remember." I looked a Duo "We WERE a  
team. You're the God of Death. Me I'm the Crimson Angel. Let me carry out your prayers, your pleas,  
your desires. You see Duo, Solo died for us. Let me fulfill his dream of helping peace prevail. WE are the  
ones destined to kill, so let the blood taint these hands. Not yours or Quatre's hands, but mine. Go now  
while you can." I let a tear fall. Duo went to say something but I slapped him.   
  
"Tacal come home when this battle is over. Please." Quatre's eyes said with pleading eyes. I  
kissed him then climbed into the Gundam.  
  
I left to join the battle as few men had disobeyed my orders and already engaged the enemy.  
"Brother I beg you to pull back." my Gundam took down three Leo's. "No you traitor!" Treize attacked  
me. I destroyed his Gundam as he did mine. Abruptly the battle stopped and the ground was tainted red  
with blood. They never found my body I was said to have been K.I.A. I watched as they held the funeral  
for me and my men. I watched as Quatre cried, as they placed an empty pine box in the ground as a  
reminder of me. Most of all I watched the end of Tacal Saysa. I would live on under another name, and I  
would live on to protect Quatre. Most of all I would live to earn his love. My new identity, her past and  
future even her name were still unknown to me but all I knew was that Tacal Saysa died that day for the  
man she loved...  
  
  
Authors Note: K.I.A means Killed In Action. I do not own all of these characters. But I do own some. I'm  
going to write another chapter. I don't know how long it will take. Yes I love both Duo and Quatre. =P  
Don't steal this please. 


	2. Default Chapter Title

THE WINTER OF TEARS  
CHAPTER 2  
  
Tacal Saysa was dead, I needed a new name. I walked around the woods thinking  
of names. Angela Montaro was what I came up with, that was my new name and my past I  
would need time to think of.  
  
It's now been about a half a year, since I have rebuilt the Crimson Angel. My  
appearance has changed, my hair went from it's raven black to a silver and my eyes from  
brown to red. I had scars all over from my battles. I walked around the small town I called  
home until the gundams came back. I didn't think they still supported Quatre but I was  
wrong. I continued my way to the meat shop. Till one of Quatre's men grabbed my  
shoulder. Instinctively I flipped him and placed my knee on his throat. They quickly  
surrounded me and held me at gun point.   
  
"What's going on here?" Quatre pushed some of his men aside. I looked at him, my  
eyes locked upon him as I stood up.   
  
"Tell your men to watch where their hands go, or I'll take them off." My voice had  
changed from it's soft tone into a cold heartless one.   
  
I went to walk away when one of the men stopped me. "What's your name kid?" he  
asked and I gave him an evil smile. I took the gun from his hands and pointed at him. He  
began to shake.   
  
"How do you like it?" I asked heartlessly, as I dropped the gun and left.  
  
A man grabbed my ass and I hit him. Quatre walked up and yelled at the man.  
"I'm sorry for my men and their actions." he was always apologizing as normal, he hadn't  
changed at all.   
  
"Just tell them to keep their hands off this girl. I'm Angela Montaro." I told him as I  
looked him up and down. *And I know who you are* I thought to myself.   
  
"I'm Quatre Raberba Winner." I held out my hand to shake his but instead he  
kissed it.   
  
"If you weren't so cute I'd slap you." I said aloud. *Or if you knew who I was I'd kiss  
you* I thought to myself. I looked up at the sky as someone screamed. "Shit is that OZ?" I  
asked him as he nodded and ran off as did I.  
  
"Where's Angela?" one of the small boys asked Quatre. "She's nice and I can't find  
her or my mommy." The boy cried as his mother came and took him away. "All right  
everyone that has Military training get ready, everyone else this place should be safe from  
any harm." then I appeared on the screen. "Quatre call Duo and the others. I'll hold the  
battles out here, they aren't that many. The back-up may be necessary in the long run." I  
explained "Who the Hell are you to order Master Quatre around?!?" one of the men yelled.  
"Ahhhhhh!!!" the screen went dead as Quatre called the other Gundams.   
  
My screen was dead nothing but static. "Damn it!" I cursed as I attacked. I  
defeated the mobile suits, and when more came Quatre was out in his Gundam and a few  
men. The battle was short.  
  
I hid my mobile suit and Quatre looked at me. "What?" I snapped while holding my  
arm.   
  
"Well first of all I'd like to know how you got that Gundam. Second, lets get you  
some medical attention. Third how do you know Duo and the others?" he said. He was still  
kind to everyone.   
  
"Forget it. I don't need your help. Like hell I'll talk about my Gundam. So what if I  
know a few kids?" I snapped and walked away. He followed me.   
  
As the others arrived. "Aww, man ya didn't save us any." Duo whined as he ran  
over to us.   
  
"Great just what I need." I looked at Duo then to Quatre. "Can I go now?"   
  
"Not unless you answer my question Miss. Montaro." Quatre looked at her. "Lets  
get you some medical attention." he offered.   
  
"I don't need your help it's people like you who want the wars. I fight for freedom.  
People die day after day the innocent, and warriors, alike all because of this useless war. I  
may only be one person but if I had to die today to end this war then I would. You  
Gundam pilots were trained for battle and that's all you live for." Angela said looking  
piercingly at Quatre. "Quatre I know more about you and the Gundam pilots than you  
think. I too have a hidden past and want to share it but not until I feel the need to. I was  
once a dear friend of yours and wish to one day find that friendship again." I smiled and  
walked away.  
  
*Why do I bother? He loved Tacal not me.* I sighed as I looked in the mirror to see  
a face that I didn't recognize. *The Goddess of Destruction will once again rain terror on  
OZ.* I thought, running my fingers over the scars on my face... I had so many now. My  
once flawless tan skin had so many scared and wounds on it. My now ruby eyes stared  
straight back at me. They were empty and emotionless, my face bruised and battered, my  
hands tainted with blood, but what hurt me the most is that Quatre was no longer my  
love.  
  
I jumped as I heard a knock on my door. Quickly rising I walked over and opened  
it to see Duo and Heero standing there. "Who are you and what do you want?" I hissed as  
Heero pushed the door open. "I suggest you leave before you get hurt." I knew that I  
wasn't scaring him at all.   
  
"I'm not the one wounded. Now come with us before you get any worse." Heero  
said looking at Duo, and then he gave a quick nod.   
  
I quickly answered him. "I can take care of my self. I don't want your pity or  
sympathy. I don't need them." I was cornered in my own house. Heero and Duo quickly  
overpowered me and took me to a doctor.  
  
I woke up strapped to a bed. My eyes wouldn't open, they were so heavy. I could  
hear people talking. It was Duo and Heero, I could hear others but I didn't know them. I  
moaned as I forced my eyes open. I could only see blurs of colors and shapes, then  
everything faded away.  
  
When I woke it was night out and I could see Quatre's sleeping figure. I couldn't  
help but smile. I sat up then placed my feet on the cold tiled floor and slowly stood up.   
Walking over to him my feet made a quiet patter upon the floor as I walked.  
  
The floor was so cold as I knelt down on it. Chills ran through my spine and not  
from just the cold, as he opened his eyes to see me sitting there in front of him. "What are  
you doing out of your bed?" He stood up then picked me up and took me back to my bed.  
I felt safe in his arms.  
  
"I wanted to thank you." I shut my eyes as WuFei walked in. He didn't say a word  
but I could feel his cold eyes on me.  
  
Once again I drifted back to my dreams of the past things, people, places, and  
who I was. Thing's I didn't want to remember, thing's I wanted to die, thing's that broke  
my heart.  
  
Come morning I was awake Duo walked in and sat on the edge of my bed. "You  
know you almost fooled me." he looked at me and smiled. "What do you mean?" I asked  
hoping that he didn't know but that went against what I knew to be true.  
  
"Cut the cute act. Contacts, hair dye, Crimson Angel, Quatre. It all fits together I  
just need one thing to prove my theory right." With that he kissed me and I didn't fight it.  
His tongue explored my mouth as I let mine do the same. The sweet taste of his lips, his  
soft touch, everything about him perfect. But he didn't hold my heart completely. Part  
belonged to Solo, part of it to Quatre, and part of it was his.   
  
"You know I thought you were really gone but you've just proven me wrong." He  
smiled "Quatre doesn't need to know nor do the others." I hissed as he ran his silky soft  
fingers across my lips.   
  
Heero walked into the room and Duo took his hand away from my face. He looked  
at Heero "So I guess you were right after all." Heero looked at me I could see the icey  
thing that he called a heart.   
  
"Quatre doesn't need to know of her being alive, it will only distract him from the  
mission." Heero left with that said I stood up. I slowly walked to a small closet and took  
my suit out and changed in the bathroom.   
  
I walked out in a camo suit. "I'm a Gundam pilot no matter what happens to me." I  
looked at Duo and left to find a fight. But was it the fight that I was looking for? Or was it  
something else? I didn't know or care at the time.  
  
I soon found myself in the mess hall it was around noon and I was getting hungry.  
I sat down as crows of people began to come in. I looked thought the crowd until I spotted  
my blond angel.  
  
He sat next to me after he got something to eat. "You know you really shouldn't be  
out of bed." He looked at me "Would you like something more civilized to wear? I'm sorry  
but the base was destroyed while you were still knocked out." he smiled sweetly. "Ya sure."  
I smiled or the most of a smile I could give.  
  
Later that day I found myself out shopping with Quatre. His blue eyes watched me  
I could feel them on me. Every movement, and every inch of my body yearned for him to  
hold me. It wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't watching me so closely.  
  
It had been a week since I woke up and day after day I was either with Duo or  
Quatre. Duo's cobalt blue eyes and Quatre's oh so blue ones drove me insane. My heart  
was broken into pieces when I thought of who I was.  
  
I sat alone on a wall, it was a cold night. I looked at a stream it was right below  
me. *If I were to jump, then would all end now?* I stood up and got on to the ledge and  
looked down. Down to the small stream.   
  
"Death is the easy way out. That's one of the reasons your brother chose that  
path." I looked at the speaker, startled to hear Zech's voice.   
  
"I'm tired of waiting for death and he wasn't my brother. You of all people should  
know that Mister Zechs." I sat on the ledge letting my legs dangle over the edge.  
  
I sighed heavily as I watched him leave. *The easy way out. Huh? If it's as easy as  
you think then why do you call yourself dead?* I could see the five boys below me. Heero  
Yuy, Trowa Barton, Chang WuFei, Duo Maxwell, and Quatre Raberba Winner.   
  
I smiled and watched others came with them but then I noticed Quatre had left  
the party. It was too late to hide he had already found me.  
  
"Why don't you come join us?" He asked quietly.   
  
"I'm not one much for parties." I replied just as quietly.  
  
He sat next to me "You're not afraid of anything are you?" he took my cold hand  
into his warm one.   
  
"Only what lies beneath this war torn shell." I let go of his hand and walked inside.  
  
"Did I say or do something wrong?" He asked following me.   
  
"No, it's not you... Like I said I'm scared of what lies beneath this war torn shell  
and having you around holding my hand might break that shell and let what I truly am  
out." He hugged me.  
  
My body stiffened "Don't hide who you are." I looked at him... *No, I couldn't kiss  
him, I couldn't hold him, not with these hands so tainted with blood.* I looked away. "I ...  
I ... I ... can't. It's just ..." I got out of his arms.  
  
I was glad to see WuFei standing at the door. Quatre left in a rush but WuFei just  
stared at me. "What?!?" But there was no reply as he just left without a word.  
  
The war was over and I had nowhere to go and what felt like no one to turn to, to  
trust, to hold, and mostly to have a shoulder to cry on. Not now or never again could I  
show Quatre who I was.  
  
I've been crying myself to sleep ever since I pushed Quatre away. I cried all night  
till finally Duo found me hiding with tears in my eyes. My contacts were out and my eyes  
bloodshot from crying. Most of my hair had fallen in disarray out of the pony tail that held  
it back.  
  
He walked over and wiped my tears away. "You know, your too pretty to cry like  
this." He said moving the hair from my face. His silky hand lifted my chin so that I had to  
look at him. "Listen I know how you feel about hiding from Quatre. Even when he put the  
moves on you. But this war will be over soon and then you can tell him." My brown eyes  
glistened brightly as I looked into his cobalt blue ones.   
  
I kissed him out of passion, insecurity, and the need to feel wanted. He kissed  
back and it was pure bliss. Duo know who I was and I knew him. He pulled away abruptly.  
I stared at him, shocked and a little hurt as he walked away without a word.  
  
Later the next day I could hear him and Heero talking. "You did the right thing."  
said Heero in a voice totally devoid of emotion. *Fine.* I told myself as I walked out of the  
house and into the woods. I could tell that they were watching me every step of the way.  
  
Quatre came after me and I looked deep into his blue eyes. He said something but  
I wasn't listening to the words. I pressed my lips firmly against his. Our tongues explored  
each others mouth. When we finally broke the kiss we looked at each other.  
  
"Quatre I have a confession to make." I said looking at the ground. "I am Tacal. I  
just couldn't tell you. I didn't expect to ever see you again. When they placed that empty  
pine box into the ground I was watching. Tacal died that day and Angela was born." I  
waited but, he didn't respond. I was hurt as he just stared at the ground head hung low  
saying not a word.  
  
I felt a sharp sting across my face. Raising my hand to my cheek, I opened my  
eyes to see Quatre's hand fall to his side. The way he glared at me pierced my heart, and  
my soul. All meaning in my life was lost, all of it felt cold, alone, and utterly dead.  
  
Quatre stood there amazed at what he just did to me. "I... I'm ... I'm sorry." he said  
looking at me with a slight glistening in his eyes. I took his hand and placed it on the side  
of my face. "I would rather die than spend another day without you. With out you knowing  
who I truly am." I said as he kissed me and no more words were necessary.  
  
Day turned to weeks, weeks into months, and months into years. We grew closer.  
For a while he left me but he always came back.   
  
After what spinning in a whirlwind for what seemed like forever, everything  
stopped dead on my 20th birthday. I sat at a small table and he was sitting across from  
me. He pulled out a small box and my heart stopped as he got down on one knee. "Tacal  
Saysa will you marry me?" He asked as I fell to my knees wrapping my arms around his  
neck. "Yes." I answered, kissing him passionately.  
  
When we broke the kiss I put the ring on. He helped me up and I hugged him once  
again. *Maybe just maybe life is like a fairy tale.* For once in my life I felt whole.  
  
It was 6 moths till our wedding. Though the 6 months were short, they felt like an  
eternity. All the Gundam pilots were there. Even WuFei came although, we weren't sure if  
he'd show, but he did. My raven hair was pulled up in a bun with a few wispy tendrils of  
hair artfully hanging down. My brown eyes were locked upon the blond angel that was  
waiting for me at the end of the isle.  
  
I walked down it slowly. Finally I stood next to him after what felt like forever we  
said our vows and kissed.  
  
That night for the first time I was truly happy. That night he carried me into the  
Winner mansion, into our room, and laid me on our bed.   
  
Quatre closed his wife's diary. He looked over her sleeping form and he couldn't  
help but smile. Tacal was all his now. She smiled in her sleep as he thought of a time  
that now seemed like so long ago. Quatre laid next to his wife of 6 years today. The faint  
sound of children playing in the next room could be heard. He ran his hand down her side  
and let it rest on her thigh.  
  
He thought of what the others were doing. Duo was still single as was Trowa.  
Heero settled down with some woman after Relena was shot, and WuFei was married to a  
woman named Amanda. Quatre smiled at the thought of seeing his friends once again.   
  
A small knock made him go back to his senses. A small boy with dirty blond hair  
walked in. He was crying as Quatre walked over and picked him up. He was about four  
years old. "Shhhh... We don't want to wake mommy now do we?" Quatre looked at the  
small boy who's big blue eyes looked innocently at his father. "No." the small voice  
replied.  
  
Quatre took his son back to the boys room. "Now you go back to sleep and leave  
Trowa alone."   
  
The little boy looked up at his father. "Why is brother named Trowa after the hero  
and I'm named after the bad guy?" The boy asked a little confused as Quatre laughed a  
bit.   
  
"I named Trowa and your mother named you..." Quatre was cut off in midsentence  
"Burkas after a very dear friend of mine." Tacal smiled "Now you shut your little eyes and  
go to sleep daddy has to work in the morning." her soft voice came as not much of a  
shock when she finished her husband's sentence.  
  
They walked back towards their room after putting little Trowa to bed, when  
Quatre sweep her off her feet and kissed her passionately. He took her to their room and  
laid her gently on the bed. She rested her head on his chest as they both drifted off to  
sleep.  
  
Author's Note: I do not own all of these characters. But I do own some. If there are  
request for another chapter or anything I may write another chapter, but that depends on  
if anyone wants one. =P Don't steal this please.  



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